i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it's like iHOP with fire
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
