I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i already hear my dad disowning me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
