I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
