we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
