i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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