I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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