So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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