It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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