I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
