you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He told me they were just razor bumps!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
