Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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