What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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