you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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