im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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