We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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