What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
pray to the hookup gods
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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