the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
