i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
