Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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