im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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