and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When are your genitals available?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
