Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
