That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
