I want to have your abortion
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
