pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
