I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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