Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
