I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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