Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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