just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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