your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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