She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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