I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
