Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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