Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
