Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
