i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
