Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
