she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
