I've blown a few things in my day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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