do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
