Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
