New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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