he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
