Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
