I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
