Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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