The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
