dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
