Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
