Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
