you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
