I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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